Well, turns out I am the emotionally distant one. My incredibly stupid thought was that since I am a woman, then I am in touch with my emotions. I have finally realized this terrible truth.
I am in my mid thirties now, and the damage has been done. Some things can be reversed but I do not believe me as a person is going to fundamentally change. Some things really are too late. That is okay because some growth is better than none.
I feel hollow.